Author Archives: Amanda

Traditions

  By Amanda | December 15, 2011 - 4:05 pm | , , ,
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I am sentimental.  Very Sentimental. Overly sentimental! Songs and smells and sounds can transport me to a different time and place. This time of year I am especially sensitive.  The sounds of Christmas carols, and the smell of Christmas trees mixed with cinnamon instantly bring me back to my home growing up.  The feelings of warmth and comfort and love come flooding. This time of year brings on a whirlwind of emotions and tears are always close to the surface.  I am filled with a profound sadness that I’ll never have another one of my mom’s Christmases, a yearning for … Read more →

Grief

  By Amanda | December 14, 2011 - 2:16 am | , ,
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I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago and wasn’t sure if I was going to post it, but I have found that writing things down has been therapeutic for me.  It’s help me work through some of my thoughts and get them out — let them go.  And if someday someone else reads this and in some way it touches them then it was worth it.  So here goes . . .  I didn’t read any of the books on loss or grief. I didn’t want anyone telling me that my pain was the same as anyone else’s. … Read more →

What I miss most about my Mom

  By Amanda | December 9, 2011 - 9:03 pm | ,
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There are so many things I miss about my mom.  Her mere presence in this World grounded me.  But the thing I miss most are her hugs.  Really there is nothing better than a mom’s (my mom’s) hug.  Her hugs could celebrate, comfort, and console.  They were so full of love and hope and pride and warmth.  If I close my eyes I can still feel the weight of her arms around me.  Now that I’m a mom it’s my turn.  I hope my boys always find comfort in my arms.  I hope my hugs provide a sense of home, … Read more →

Hey Shorty It's your Birthday

  By Amanda | December 8, 2011 - 8:23 pm |
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So Matt and I may have gone a little DIY crazy for Sam’s second Birthday.  But hey, you’re only 2 once right?!!? The house was filled with toddlers and friends and family.  It was a perfect celebration and we felt so lucky to be surrounded by so many of the people we love.  Here’s a glimpse into how we transformed our home into Sesame street. Homemade muppet faces.  Sam loved these.  His little face lit up when he saw them hanging on the wall.       Cookie, Elmo and Abby Goodybags and a homemade Sesame Street sign The overall look: … Read more →

Holding My Breath

  By Amanda | December 1, 2011 - 7:25 pm | , ,
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Every three months I hold my breath.  Hoping for the best but frozen by the thought of the worst.  I squeeze Sam a little bit tighter, rock him a little bit longer, tell him I love him a little bit louder.  I fight my anxiety and tell the negative voice inside my head to shut up! You see Sam has a genetic disorder called Beckwith Wiedemann Syndrome (BWS).  BWS is a congenital growth disorder.  We are thankful that on the spectrum of disorders, this one will likely have a minimal impact on Sam’s life.  In fact, we wouldn’t have even … Read more →