Breaking Tradition

I am a slave to traditions.

It grounds me and connects me to my mom and my past.  There is something so comforting about traditions.  Kind of like snuggling up on the couch under a warm blanket on a cold winter day.  It warms my soul.  To me tradition smells like cinnamon and pine needles and has the hum of a house full of people.

In my family, traditions were most present around the dining room table.  Every holiday had a menu and that menu changed very little from year to year.  Thanksgiving was a turkey, my grandmother’s stuffing, mashed potatoes, canned cranberry sauce, green beans all washed down with pumpkin pie, chocolate chip cake, apple pie and cheesecake.  Deviation from the standard caused real controversy around the dining room table.  Christmas eve and Christmas day each had a different menu but each menu had been locked down over the years, leaving little room for experimentation and new recipes to emerge.

Now don’t get me wrong, every single dish was perfected and amazingly tasty.  I mean, my mom – she had Holiday cooking down!  And I am totally blessed to have learned from her in the kitchen.  I take a lot of pride in recreating the dishes that we use to cook together.  And it warms my heart to think that my boys will grow up having some of the same food memories of celebrations that I did.

Ya’ll I’m thinking that it might be time to put my own spin on things.   Add something that is mine to the table.

But my heart can’t handle too much change.  My table will hold my grandmother’s stuffing and mashed potatoes but I’m thinking a new vegetable and I might even dare to try a totally different dessert!  Pumpkin Bread Pudding anyone?

It’s funny.  I always looked to my mom for approval and confidence.  Anytime I was stepping out of my comfort zone I’d give her a call or seek a look of encouragement.  Matt and I were talking this weekend and he related that I wouldn’t plan a meal for more than 4 people without running it by my mom.  It’s been a real struggle without her to find my way on my own.  Navigating motherhood has been a particularly tough challenge but it has also been an amazing opportunity to thrive.  To find my footing and to build confidence in my self.  To realize that her approval and encouragement, while comforting and so important, were a kind of crutch and that she had already given me everything I needed.  That all the tools were already right there inside me.  It has been scary and freeing to start to figure all of this out.

So as I approach the holiday’s this year I think I’m going to take a little bit of time to think about tradition.  What are those traditions that are meaningful and so precious they can’t be touched?  Where can I take some creative license to adapt an old tradition or add a new one.  Finding ways to honor the past and creating something new for the future is going to be a goal of mine this year.  And, well, I might as well start with dessert!

I’d love to hear how you have put your own spin on your family’s traditions.

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20 Responses to Breaking Tradition

  1. IASoupMama says:

    I think pumpkin bread pudding sounds yummy!

    I’m kind of the opposite — I like to mix up the menu. That’s probably why I’m never asked to host traditional meals anymore…

  2. I don’t think adding a new dish breaks tradition. I say go for it!

  3. My MIL makes my FIL a special side dish THAT NOBODY EATS except for the one small spoonful he eats because even he doesn’t like it. She only does this because his mom (who passed away over 40 years ago) made it each Thanksgiving. I get not changing things around, but I do think adding something new special wouldn’t be breaking tradition! I’d do it!

  4. Bill Dameron says:

    Good for you for figuring out you can do things on your own. That is a new tradition! My tradition is just being with the one I love. Doesn’t get much better than that!

  5. shannon says:

    This was beautiful to read on the heels of the process I just did to find everything I need inside myself.

    Thank you!

  6. My grandma is this exact way. It makes me a little crazy, and I think I tend to do things differently each time in a form of silent protest….”it’s not about the FOOD” my changing menu screams. But, I had never thought of it as a security blanket…that makes a little more sense to me and at least now I can look at it a little bit more endearingly.

  7. I love the idea of adding new traditions alongside the old ones. Because people change, families change, and circumstances change. So why can’t traditions change too? Also, pumpkin bread pudding? Yum.

  8. Angela Ryan says:

    It is definitely possible to honor the past and introduce new traditions.

  9. Kianwi says:

    My family has always been sooo rigid about our holiday meals. Always the same thing, every single time. One year I suggested we do Italian for a change, and they were ready to kick me out of the family! I have snuck in new dishes, though, every year since :)

  10. Ginny Marie says:

    I guess we are building our own traditions, since my mom and mother-in-law passed away a couple years ago. My SIL always has the same thing for Thanksgiving, and I try to mix it up a little bit for Christmas!

  11. I think you can add without taking away and that’s not a tradition breaker. Enjoy your holiday!

  12. Dilovely says:

    I totally relate to this: “My heart can’t handle too much change.” Especially with holidays. Happy Thanksgiving!

  13. Azara says:

    My family didn’t have many traditions and that’s what I’d like to change. I find traditions so comforting and I want to have many more of them for our family than I did growing up.

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