It’s been a busy few months. Not just busy in terms of schedules and things to do but busy inside my head. This happens from time to time. Things in my mind race around at great speed. New ideas. To do lists. Big dreams. Worries. Small wonders. All flying around, bumping up against each other and then moving off in different directions. It’s hard to keep up.
At the end of the day I pass out exhausted. Not from the physical demands of life but from the mental marathon I’ve been running all day. I’m not always like this. There are times that I’m much quieter. That the status-quo works for me. That I can just trot along with the rest of the World and my mind can focus on the here and now.
This noise that starts up every once and awhile is both a blessing and a curse. It pushes me to chase my dreams. It’s frenetic pace propels me forward helping me tackle daunting and stressful situations. But it’s also impulsive. Sometimes it gets so loud that I get overwhelmed making any movement impossible. And sometimes there is just so much that I can’t separate the good from the not-so-good.
I think this is why I’m finding hard to blog right now. I have these ideas and thoughts and just as fast as they come the next one moves in. By the time I sit down to write I can no longer find the emotion and thought that was there just a few minutes earlier. Or the words that sounded brilliant inside my head just a short time ago now seem like incoherent gibberish.
I have not mastered quieting my mind. I have not found a way to will myself into stillness. But that’s exactly what I need when my mind runs away for too long. I need a way to stop and just be for a little bit. To find clarity and get my footing again. To contemplate and consciously pick the path I want to walk. To just find a little bit of silence.
