I have always needed control. Feeling like things are out of my control is the biggest trigger of my anxiety. I have planners and calendars and check lists for just about everything in life.
My mom was the same way. I think this is what drove her to shop and I’m pretty sure she battled her own anxiety demons because of it.
I don’t know how to change this about me. I don’t know how to focus on what is in my control and let go of what isn’t. But I’m scared that this need to control my World is going to swallow me up. I don’t just want to find a way to change, I think I need to.
I’m not a particularly prayerful person. But this one always stuck with me.
The Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
I’m in need of a little serenity.
