Category Archives: inside my head

A Birthday Wish for My Mom

  By Amanda | February 23, 2012 - 11:00 am | , ,
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Dear Mom, Happy Birthday.  How I wish you were here for me to say that to you.  I wish you were here to share this day with Will – celebrating your 59th year life and Will’s first year.  Oh, how I know you would have loved sharing your big day with this sweet child.  Mom, thank you for helping me become the woman I am today.  Thank you for teaching me that no matter how hard things get, there is always a reason to look to tomorrow.  Thank you for teaching me to use my words and my writing to … Read more →

It's an Emotional Week

  By Amanda | February 21, 2012 - 7:07 pm | , , ,
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The emotion of this week just hit me. Excitement over the celebration of the life that came crashing into my world a year ago.  It’s hard to believe that my Will is going to be one.  That he is straddling the line between infancy and toddlerhood.  My baby is so quickly following in his brother’s footsteps and becoming a little boy. And grief over a celebration that will never be . . . God I miss you mom! Bittersweet.

Be Your Own Best Advocate

  By Amanda | February 17, 2012 - 6:18 pm | ,
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A few weeks ago I posted about my first mammogram.  I never got a call back.  I never got the letter they promised if everything was fine.  After about two weeks I called my OB/GYN, Dr. P.  They had never received the report either.  She called me back a couple of hours later and read the report to me.  “A normal mammogram with the appearance of a small mass in the right breast.”  How is that normal? I asked.  I was told the radiologist believes it is likely a lymph node. Oh, Ok. I hung up the phone.  I was … Read more →

Brotherly Love

  By Amanda | February 10, 2012 - 4:36 pm | , , , ,
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  Yesterday I was driving my boys to daycare.  Will was not happy about being in his car seat and was screaming. All of a sudden Sam started singing a song for his brother.  “Will, will, crying crying.  Will, Will yay!”  (He’s destined for stardom!) Followed shortly by demands, “Will, hand.  Will, hand.” I looked in my rear view mirror just in time to watch them each reach out their little arms to hold hands.  Fits of giggles from both followed. My. Heart. Exploded.  I freaking LOVE these kids.  How darn lucky am I?  How darn lucky are they to … Read more →

All about Will – My Surprise Blessing

  By Amanda | February 6, 2012 - 8:34 pm | , ,
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Will was . . . how shall we say it . . . an unexpected blessing.  In the first few months after I found out I was pregnant I said that over and over and over again trying to convince myself it was true. The fact is I was up to my ears in a rambunctious 7 month old named Sam and the thought of adding another baby to the chaos that was our life was overwhelming.  But while I was struggling to make peace with the timing I celebrated the baby inside me.  While my sleep deprived brain tried … Read more →