This question showed up in my Facebook feed this morning:
“If you weren’t afraid what would you do?”
My first thought was “skydive.” If I wasn’t afraid of heights and planes and well dying, I would definitely skydive. How amazing would that be? To see the World from that vantage point and soar through the sky. Awesome right?
After my first reaction I started thinking about all of the things I “want” to do that I don’t because I’m scared. Scared of failing, scared of looking silly, scared of what others think, scared of the unknown.
If I wasn’t afraid I would:
Write the book my mom always wanted to write.
Pick up my family and move somewhere new.
Paint my house.
Make a career change.
Join a yoga class.
But those things, for one reason or another, seem scary. Too much to be afraid of. I often look at people who make radical life changes (or even small ones) and wonder how’d they do that? How’d they make it work?
I’d like to be a little bit more like those people. A little more willing to take a chance and see where it leads me. A little more adventurous. A little less afraid.
I also think I’m afraid of letting life pass me by. Afraid that the days will come and go and the years will pass and I’ll look back on my life and wonder why I didn’t take some chances along the way.
I realized the other day that I graduated high school 16 years ago. The decision about where to go to college was the first big decision I got to make for myself. Where was I going to go? The World was my oyster (well as long as my oyster came at the price of a state school!). I fell in love with the University of Maryland the very first time I saw McKeldin Mall. But my mom was pushing heavily for Rutgers. I even accepted (at her urging) admission from both Rutgers and Maryland. I had a roommate assigned to me at both schools. I tell you, I am sure my mom thought she could change my mind as we passed by Rutgers on our way to College Park.
16 years ago I came to a big fork in the road. I took the road that was less familiar, further from home and (at least when it came to my mom) not the popular choice. My first grown up decision that would begin to chart my road to today and I took a leap. Despite being afraid, I took a leap.
Four years later, when I graduated school I found myself at another fork. I had no job lined up. Would I return to New Jersey to live at home and figure out what I was going to be when I grew up or charge out into the working world with a hope and a dream and almost no money? Well if you know me then you know how the story goes. Despite some very strong advice from my family, I moved in with girlfriends, got a job at Starbucks and started pounding on the doors of Congress. I choose to leap.
Those two choices could have totally changed my life. They would have put me on a completely different path. I like to think my life today is better because of the route I choose. Because, despite the nagging fear and anxiety, I took a leap.
While I don’t think I’ll be picking up my family and moving them across country any time soon I wonder if I even still notice the opportunities to take a leap of if fear of change has blinded me from seeing them. I think I’ll try to be more mindful of them and maybe once in a while take that scary fork. Take that leap. And maybe I’ll even paint my house this year. 
What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
