I Wish

I wish the good memories flowed as easily as the bad ones.

I wish that details of the millions of conversations I had with my mom were as easy to recall as are the feeling of hitting the cold hospital floor after my mom cried that she was “going to miss the baby.”

I wish I didn’t have to struggle to remember my mom’s hug or strain to hear the sound of her voice in my head.

I wish I didn’t have detailed flashbacks of conversations with doctors, signing a DNR, the hospice room, or the school bus that kept me from getting to my mom in time.

I wish that Derby day and Cinco de Mayo weren’t such sad days.

I wish the details of these days from four years ago would fade.  I wish it were harder to remember.

I wish my mom were here.

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2 Responses to I Wish

  1. Ola Dickson says:

    Thank you for reminding me what is important….I wish so deeply I had known this stuff at your age, I have my first born in college now so a bit older than you, I left college in my sophmor year with an associates degree in communication, to marry…dumb dumb dumb…been at that for 21 yrs and 3 of being engaged dumb….and now have 3 kids 2 college one ten years behind them. I had struggles but the marriage is over…done. I wish I lived more for me, I was at the place you were when you were unhappy with the girlfriend but didn’t say it…I suffered for years and why because I didn’t speak up. I now use writing and humor to get through, I never achieved my real goals and due to a failed marriage that would have been over sooner but I was worried what the kids would think…and still do. But I have to live for me, health worries I have make me realize this life is a party and parties are not made to last. I need to party while I can. Thank you for your wisdom. I am so glad Stumble Upon lead me to this.

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